


We Were Just A Good Thing, We Were Such A Good Thing (Three Stages of A Deadly Sin)

by jb_slasher



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Community: 7_deadly_sins_, Elephant In The Room, Fucked Up Self-Preservation, Infidelity, Liverpool, M/M, Seven Deadly Sins, Sex Gone Wrong, wrath - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-30
Updated: 2006-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-10 07:37:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Resentment leads to hate. Hate leads to wrath. Wrath leads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Were Just A Good Thing, We Were Such A Good Thing (Three Stages of A Deadly Sin)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt Wrath over at LJ's 7_deadly_sins_ community.

1\. _the unified divide_  
(resentment, dislike)

At first, it is merely dislike, slight resentment, nothing that should bother him long enough to take hold. One time he can handle. Once is nothing, probably just a mistake, nothing serious. One time is something so small and insignificant. One time is not worth bringing up, not worth talking over.

Like Sami hasn't got any mistakes on his path. He won't bring it up because it won't change anything. It won't change his feelings for Xabi. Sami understands. One time is all right. One time is normal, just as normal as anything else in this relationship.

That's what he keeps telling himself. That they are normal, when nothing else seems to work. And nothing else seems to work because they're hiding. It's the only way for this to work and that's something Sami hates with a passion. Not Xabi. Never Xabi. Because he loves Xabi.

He doesn't tell Xabi that he knows because it will do no good and he intends to keep this as good as he can. The thing is it's just not entirely up to him. Xabi doesn't bring it up either and Sami knows and maybe Xabi knows that he knows but it doesn't matter. Sami tells himself it doesn't matter that neither of them acknowledge it, that elephant sitting in the corner of the living room, because they love each other. Something so small cannot come between them.

On the other hand, Xabi should belong to Sami alone, hands and feet and lips and skin, to no one else but Sami. He battles against himself and loses whichever way the fight ends. He doesn't have the right to another person; he only has the right to himself. But Xabi is his, anyway: Xabi's feelings towards Sami make him Sami's.

And all this time Xabi is in Sami's arms, comfy as he has snuggled into Sami, dreaming of things Sami can't even begin to imagine. They are the same, yet they are so different. Perhaps more different than even they themselves realize.

 

2\. _you can't, you won't and you don't (stop)_  
(hate)

It won't go away, the thought, the feeling. If anything, it only grows. Hate is a strong word but, at this point, appropriate. The silences between them have grown longer; the heat of passion flares colder; the trust edges in existence.

Sami takes Xabi, and Xabi hurts. He comes but Sami keeps on going, longer than usual, and Xabi almost comes again but he doesn't because Sami comes first and he stops, stops right there and pulls out when Xabi starts hurting all over again.

Sami doesn't look at him, just drops on his side of the bed, facing the wall and the window and the nightstand but not Xabi. Not anymore. Xabi inches closer and settles against Sami's back but flinches at the sound, at the fury in Sami's voice.

"Go to sleep."

His tone as if Xabi were a filthy whore; his words like bullets hitting their target.

The thought consumes him so that he only sees his side. He's the victim here, staying with this mess, letting Xabi carry on as he wishes.

He cannot hide anymore. From the world, that's easy, that he can still do. But he can't hide from himself. That's what he thinks he's doing. He's effectively lying to himself, convincing himself so good that he's actually beginning to believe that he must protect himself. He must attack before he is attacked. He has delivered the first blow; he is in control.

But a part of him, a part of himself betrays him when he falls asleep (not at all troubled). It calls out for Xabi. It turns Sami on his back and it makes his hands roam the bed in search of something.

In the morning, he wakes up with Xabi in his arms. Sami smiles and plants a kiss on Xabi's lips before he remembers he's supposed to hate. A split second later, Sami is up and on his feet, leaving Xabi in his wake. Double-crossing himself like a madman.

 

3\. _salvation is free_  
(wrath)

He knows there is no going back now. His anger has grown, stretched to its limits, expanded into wrath, and he can't even look at Xabi without contempt in his thoughts, in his eyes. He wants to say he knows what Xabi did but he can't find words for his state of rage, no words that would hurt Xabi enough, hurt more than the silence, the cold, the lack of trust, the contempt in Sami's eyes.

His method of breaking up is somewhat sophisticated, a mystery even, if you're not that bright. But Xabi is a student, eager to learn, open for information. So Sami leaves an article on the kitchen table, along with scissors and a bread knife. The article is about traditional Chinese customs. In the section about gift-giving, it is mentioned that one should not give scissors or knives as a gift. In short, it means "the severing of the relationship". Sami is sure Xabi will not miss this hint.

He also considered buying shoes (which would, in short, have meant wishing for his departure) but he would have bought ones that Xabi would have hated and, after all this time, he just still doesn't know what kind of shoes that would've been. And it would've only meant he would have had to use more money than he had already wasted in this THING. That cunt fucked another man and Sami was just supposed to take it? He most certainly would not. That fucking cunt would not humiliate him like that.

So Sami finally walks out of this life, this hiding place, leaves it all behind him. He leaves wrath in that place to haunt it, shred it to pieces and taunt it.

But he also leaves a piece of himself behind. He can feel that hole in himself, growing as time goes by, wondering what that piece held in it, too dazed to realize what he has lost. Too wound up in himself to understand what a lie he built to protect himself from the world and instead ended up using it against Xabi. Too relieved to mourn a love lost to madness, to sins that kill.


End file.
